Reckless Love

Let’s be clear: God is sovereign. He is purposeful. He is Holy. He is God of gods and Lord of lords.

Let’s also be clear: No matter how I sugarcoat it, I know myself and what I have done and am capable of. My rebellious, self-loving, wandering, sinful heart.

And that the Sovereign, Almighty God of the universe would send His Son to die on my behalf, to take the wrath I duly deserved – to me, that seems a little reckless.

Not because the character of God is reckless but because I am. And a love that would chase after me? That would pursue me from the depths?

When my lust for the flesh drew me into the depths of an addiction to pornography, flirting between love for it and chains I couldn’t shake.

When my anger welled up within, clearly not caring at all for the truths that had been shared over years.

When my fears became so overwhelming – my hands on the wheels flirted with death as my car accelerated under the depth of my brokenness.

You see, it is reckless because by all my standards and by all HIS standards I shouldn’t be here.

He is Holy, I am anything but.

He is righteous, I am far from it.

He is good, and I know the depths of my heart are anything but good.

He is just, and I know what justice my heart, words, and actions deserve.

He is faithful, and I know how far and how often I do/have wander(ed).

And He is loving.

He is loving.

This wrath that should have been poured on me – a rebellious, scared, wounded, addicted, angry, selfish, greedy, lustful, fill-in-the-blank sinner, was poured out upon Jesus on the cross.

The death of Jesus paid the price and satisfied the wrath I fully deserved. It bore the shame, fear and guilt of my sin so I could begin to experience new life.

And that – that is what makes it so reckless. Not because God is reckless. But because I know – in the midst of grace, I still find myself prone to wander. And it doesn’t make sense. Why? Because I, still, am undeserving. And if it were me – it would be reckless. But I am not God. My ways are not His.

So I am grateful, here in this moment. And I sing this not because I believe God is reckless. But because I still can’t fully grasp the depth of this love, this seemingly reckless love, because a Sovereign, Holy, Almighty God made a way for me – an always undeserving, rebellious hearted man, to be made right with Him.