I must admit – I tend to struggle with trusting God. And I didn’t really even realize it. Its not so much struggling with God not being who he says he is – but rather I realized I had a limited view of God. I was not in awe of God and was instead looking at God from an awe-less viewpoint. I’ve been spending a lot of time gearing up for the fall, and stressing a bit (as I think we all do). I see a huge pocket of students in my community and start stressing – wondering how I can connect them to adults, where I can find adults to lead concrete disciples…and then I stopped. I realized some thing this past weekend.
Just because I am in ministry doesn’t mean God is dependent whatsoever upon me in any matter
I had begun to think like because God called me into ministry I was somehow going to fail the God of the universe… I struggle with recruiting, I am transitioning into a leadership role, and I thrive in connecting with students. I know my strength needs to switch with my weakness, but I felt so stressed. And then I realized in my heart I was really living in this limited view of the God whom I serve. In no way is ministry to families in North Canton, Ohio dependent upon me. Has God used me? Yes. Can God use me? Yes. Will God use me? I hope so. Does God have many, many pieces far greater than me and beyond my understanding at work? Yes.
I realized that I live cautiously, almost in fear. What if I fail? What if I don’t have enough leaders? What if…? Instead of asking myself – what if I trusted God so much I lived in awe knowing the only way to move forward is for God to move in God-sized ways? But this takes faith, and trust – which can be difficult.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
– 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
God is teaching me to live in awe of Him. When we are in awe of how great God is – our weaknesses fade to the back because we realize that He is enough. Paul’s words ring so true now – and while it doesn’t make it any easier, we can take a deep breath. This fall – wherever you are weak know that God is sufficient. Christ in you is enough. Let us be in awe of what God does in a God-sized way beyond anything we could believe. Because God is moving, as He sees fit, in ways we could never even dream.